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Stairway to Heaven

November 6, 2009

This morning, while getting the kids ready for school. God that makes them sound like primary schoolers. Like we had to help them with their shoes and backpacks and Elmo lunchboxes!

Anyway. God, I get so tired of when I interrupt myself.

I was sipping my coffee when The Big Nugget came out to the kitchen and said, “I was just reading an article about building an elevator to space.”

“Space?” I asked.

“Outer space,” he replied.

“Well, I understand that a cable could maybe reach space, it’s flexible enough,” I said, “but once you built an elevator shaft, you’re going to have some structural issues.”

Lordy, I’m an engineer, ain’t I?

“It’d be an elevator box that would ride up the cable, not an elevator shaft,” he snapped back at me. Like I was an idiot for not understand the details in an elevator to outer space.

The conversation went back and forth about how, maybe, instead of an elevator, they should put up a set of stairs.

“Except it would probably be those stupid spiral stairs. Jesus. You can’t haul you luggage up those damn things!” I said. Knowing how much of pain in the ass that is after our many visits to see our friend, Ben, in Breckenridge. Thank god he spent big bucks and got those damn things out of there. And also? It’s important for me to discuss how I’ll haul my things with me when I walk the staircase to outerspace. A gal’s going to need a couple of changes of underwear, at least.

“Maybe they’d just build them like a wheelchair ramp,” Ricky Nugget explained to me so that I wouldn’t have to worry about getting my luggage to outerspace.

“Oh! Like those chairs you can ride up and down the stairs on?!” I asked so very excitedly, knowing now that I would be able to bring my luggage along when I took the stairs to ourspace.


“Yes, dear, sure, why not. ‘Where’s my sandwich?!!!’ you could yell back to me, while riding your chair up the staircase to outerspace,” he replied.

“Stop making fun of me!” I said, “You’re the ass who started this whole, stupid conversation in the first damn place!”

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