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Stupid Asshat Birthday Cake/s

November 16, 2009

I don’t know if I’ll take a golldanged photo of that golldanged german chocolate cake/cheesecake concoction. It wore me out, that stupid cake/cakes.

Firstly, I had to run back to the grocery store to get heavy whipping cream.

Secondly, I had to run back to the grocery store to get heavy whipping cream because when I went, firstly, I accidently purchased half and half.

People, let this be a lesson to you. Read the label. At least as far as “Half and Half” vs. “Heavy Whipping Cream”.

Thirdly, the cheesecake was made in a 10″ springform pan. Which I always think of and therefore type as, “springboard”, and have to then correct in my thoughts and on the keyboard.

Fourthly, I accidentally used an extra 8 oz. package of cream cheese. Which caused no difference to either flavor or texture. Makes me think that perhaps the recipe needs an extra package of cream cheese.

Fifthly, I baked the german chocolate cake layers in 9″ round cake pans. Which made it a very big mess when I placed the 10″ cheesecake on top of the bottom 9″ cake layer.

Sixthly, cheesecake does not trim  neatly. However, I now have a little container of cheesecakes parts and there is never a reason to complain about excess cheesecake that can’t be accounted for when being eaten bit by bit.

Seventhly, when I explained to The Big Nugget and The Things why I was baking a German Chocolate/Cheesecake for the Big Nugget’s birthday – “Because you like German chocolate cake and you also like cheesecake, and I saw this recipe, on-line from Junior’s deli in New York – that deli I love so much, that I thought it was a great idea” – to which The Big Stupid Nugget replied, “I like salsa, too, are you going to put salsa on the cake?”

Eighthly, “I like malts, too, are you going to put a malt on the cake?” Fucker thought he was funny and wouldn’t stop thinking of shit he liked and wondering if I was going to put it on the cake.

Ninthly, “I don’t really like that restaurant. You like that restaurant. I don’t like that restaurant.”

So, yeah. Stupid asshat german chocolate cheesecake piece of crap. Happy damn birthday you Stupid Nugget.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. November 16, 2009 7:35 pm

    Tenthly: Did the Nugget want to eat the cake or wear it? Sounds like he was asking for it…..

  2. November 16, 2009 9:23 pm

    Next time, just give him a Twinkie. Just one. Teach him to appreciate what he’s got.

  3. poolagirl permalink
    November 17, 2009 9:42 am

    I could send over my garlic-flavored lemon sweet bread. I’m sure it will last for centuries!

  4. capitolady permalink
    November 18, 2009 8:29 pm

    OMG sometimes I swear, he sounds just like my asshat hubbs. This is why I get him the annual WM special … Whip cream marble cake with a hunter shooting a deer. He usually gets one hunting there … For luck he licks the feet of the deer… (eeeuoooo)

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