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December 2, 2009

Who knew that going to school would give me more than a diploma in secretarialness?

I have found strength and support and compassion in the most surprising of places.

As I was about to emotionally bottom out, people who were strangers to me back in August, have pulled me back up and set me in the right direction.

I can’t say much more except that having a family member who is suffering from a debilitating mental illness is a very lonely place.

I am sad about the lack of a support net from the people I have been closest to in my past but thankful for the support I have from the most surprising of places.

I am sad about the fact that mental illness is a silent disease but thankful for the professionals who offer options, sometimes in baby steps.

I am disappointed.

I am hopeful.

I am a fucking mess.


13 Comments leave one →
  1. December 2, 2009 8:45 pm

    I’m sorry you’re going through a terrible time right now, and glad that you have found new friends to help you through it.
    Mental illness does suck and it hurts so many people. I’m sending peaceful vibes to all of you.

  2. mzznettie permalink
    December 2, 2009 10:13 pm

    Just sending much love from someone who’s been there but is finding her way out of the craptasticness of it all.

  3. Kate permalink
    December 2, 2009 11:36 pm

    Keep yer chin up, Kath.

  4. December 3, 2009 1:08 am

    Hang in there Kathy. Friends lurk in the strangest of places. And are people you never even thought you’d know. Like a Mormon housewife in Utah.

  5. December 3, 2009 7:37 am

    I know exactly what you’re talking about. I think when you’re the “fun & outgoing” one, “friends” don’t know what to do with/for you when you’re not able to be that anymore. You’re an awesome person. Let those that will help you, help you.

  6. Jean permalink
    December 3, 2009 8:41 am

    Oh Kathy. I’ve been quietly going through the same thing these past few months with my brother. And this time, firearms were involved. His brain is broken (and liquor addled) like a crushed femur. I watch that show ‘Intervention’ and almost call the number. Almost. But I’m too tired and too afraid.

  7. poolagirl permalink
    December 3, 2009 9:01 am

    You have been through so much. It’s a long road back. I too have dealt with family members who suffer from mental illness. It gets tiring at times, but it’s important to stay the course and know the truth about who you are – a capable and loving person with many gifts. Blessings on this journey.

  8. Ruth from SC permalink
    December 3, 2009 9:11 am

    Hang in there….you’re stronger than you think and will come out of this happier and more fulfilled than it may look right now. Trust those that give support and ignore the others. Know that you are loved alot………….

  9. Leslie permalink
    December 3, 2009 10:40 am

    Thinking of you … hoping for the very best.

  10. Diane B permalink
    December 3, 2009 11:13 pm

    and a Mormon housewife from New Mexico. Just always know you are not alone.

  11. December 4, 2009 12:14 am

    I’m so sorry for the troubles and sadness. Fie on those who won’t be there for you when you need them. Here are some hugs from a Non-Believer In Indiana. ((((((Kathy))))))

  12. momonroof permalink
    December 4, 2009 6:39 am

    Hey girl, same boat, different state… I want off this ride too! I’m here for ya, treading water with ya, and other nautical metaphors…

  13. Niki permalink
    December 8, 2009 10:22 am

    Disappointed, hopeful and a fucking mess. Well said for many of us. I really hope things get better for you.

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