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You Say Dean or Dale; I Say Deandale

December 16, 2009

There’s a guy in my old Medical Terminology class (that’s so yesterday!) who I took notes for. I’m not sure what his issue is…eye/hand coordination, poor small motor skills, letter transposition tourette’s; but I didn’t mind taking notes for him at all. Especially because the teacher gave me this really cool carbonless copying spiral notebook. So fancy. And so neat to write on. My writing looked so readable!

Anyway, the teacher started calling him Dale. But his name was Dean. Or, uh, she started calling him Dean but his name was Dale. I don’t really know what his actual name is because I gave him the nickname “Deandale”. And then, because this is how dumb funny and confused funny I am, I forgot which of the names was his actual name. So I spent the semester saying “Hey Deandale!” whenever I’d see him in the hallway. Such a nice guy. He always smiled and said “Hey!” back. And probably just “Hey!” because I don’t think he ever knew my name. Or maybe he knew it was Kathy but he wasn’t sure if it was Kathy or Cathy. You know, there’s a difference. In my  head. The “K” has a hard sound but the “C” has a soft sound, to me. Not soft, like an “S”, just soft, like a softer “K”.

Yep. That’s how I see Cathy vs. Kathy. Cathy is much softer, much sweeter. Kathy is a gal who tromps through the hallways and everyone jumps out of the way so as to not get knocked over by the hard K.

This is the thought that occurred to me while I was off purchasing primer and paint for our new crown molding, which is being constructed as we read this entry. Unless you’re reading this while the construction is not going on.

I also thought about a friend’s grandma (a friend who’s NaME I will not mENtIon) who got a wee bit confused while living in a nursing home; and horny. Grandma got horny. You know what? I hate that word, horny, but for some reason, it doesn’t bother me when I’m using it to refer to an old person in a nursing home. Huh. Anyway… Grandma found herself a partner. Who’s name was Dan. Or Don. Grandma could never remember. Or she could remember it differently at any given time. She got to the point of confusion, I seem to recall, that she just started calling him Dandon. And she didn’t really care what in the hell his name was, as long as he was willing to get horny along with her. And not steal her dentures.

I am so going to be that woman when I am in my 90s, aren’t I?

You just make sure you come and visit me. Bring me candy. And warm socks. And some condoms.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. December 16, 2009 2:07 pm

    Kathy, with a K, I laughed so hard at your post I almost uh… peed my pants. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it really really bad today. I loved your post. Can I send condoms via snail mail when we are 90? LOL

  2. December 16, 2009 2:16 pm

    Hahaha I feel the same way about my own name. Karyl is, in no way, at all similar to Carol. Carol is old-fashioned and stodgy, while Karyl is redheaded and fun and goofy and silly, always looking for a laugh. At least in my head.

    Ooo I hate the word “horny” too. Ugh. There are just some worsd that are no fun to say.

  3. December 16, 2009 2:34 pm

    Well, I would guess pregnancy is not going to be an issue….

  4. Cathy permalink
    December 16, 2009 3:26 pm

    I am still laughing!! All those thoughts just while purchasing primer and paint… I always wanted to be the K/Cathy with a “K”..they were always cooler and more fun!

  5. Jean permalink
    December 17, 2009 8:52 am

    Condoms hell! I’m bring you a vibe!

  6. December 17, 2009 11:40 am

    Funny shit!

    I never liked the sound of my name. Joan sounds so umm drone like. That’s why I took the opportunity to rename myself balonie. It’s so much classier.

    The word horny always make want to look in the other direction.. yuk

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