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The Institute of Sleepy

January 13, 2010

I went to the Institute of Sleepy today. To get a prescription for a CPAP, seeing as how I can not get myself to wear the oral mouth repositioner that snapped off one of my crowns a good year or more ago. (The nurse I talked with today told me of a patient who had to have jaw surgery after this happened to him. My god! I’m so smashing that damn thing into teeny tiny pieces!)

I go back next week, after the CPAP guy talks to my insurance company and they refuse to believe that I have sleep apnea, or they believe that I have sleep apnea so much that they insist it’s a pre-existing condition and that I had it before I walked into the clinic – and they will not pay for any part of my CPAP machine. They will have nothing to do with me and the CPAP! You did not get that sleep apnea here! Oh! How I want to kill them because I am so angry! This is Obama’s fault!

(Sorry. I thought I was accused of being hateful and full of anger in an e-mail I received today. And we all know that is very wrong. Right? RIGHT?!!!!)

Oh! There was the cutest male resident shadowing the Sleepy Institute doctor today. The doctor asked me where I was working and I told him that I was not working, in fact, I was going to school to become a medical transcriptionist.  Are you hiring? (I didn’t ask if he was hiring but – Hey! That’s kind of a good idea! I’ll get my diploma and then make all kinds of medical appointments at which I will ask for jobs! Insurance will pay for my pre-interviewing!) He told me that was a great choice and that I should be pretty busy. I told the cute resident that when the time comes and he needs a transcriptionist, to give a call.

I think I might have also roared like a cat.

By the way, did I mention that I was wearing my leopard-print sweater? I know it’s not a cougar but it’s in the big cat family. Makes me frisky, I guess.

Until next week, I will continue to fight the good battle of trying to stay alive, even though I have quit breathing.

Have I told you that Stella Mirra, Retrieved Golden, wakes me up if I try to take a nap on the couch and stop breathing? I was suspicious at first. But then I made mental notes of each and every time I’d nod off and was awakened by the nudging of the nose of that damn dog!  I always seemed to be coughing, too. Which is what happens when I stop breathing (according to my eye witness, Ricky Nugget)…I stop breathing and then I start coughing and choking, in order to start breathing again.

Either my dog loves me and wants to keep me alive or my dog loves food and doesn’t know where it will come from if I’m not the one giving it.

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. katie permalink
    January 13, 2010 5:22 pm

    As to Stella Mirra – I think it’s the latter! No dummy there.

  2. January 13, 2010 6:39 pm

    OMG Stella is a working dog.. working to protect you! Maybe you could get your insurance to pay her expenses instead of for a CPAP! Heh.

  3. Ruth from SC permalink
    January 14, 2010 8:40 am

    I’ve had a CPAP machine for several years now and it really has made a huge difference in my energy level. I wear it very comfortably now and just put it on without a second thought….hey, all in the mindset!

  4. poolagirl permalink
    January 14, 2010 9:07 am

    I read that entire entry and I thought you were saying CRAP machine. I need to slow down!

    • January 14, 2010 3:45 pm

      Are you a by-product of the Evelyn Wood school so speed reading? You need to slow down when you read!

  5. January 14, 2010 9:27 am

    Stella is awesome.

    And your insurance company can suck it.

  6. January 14, 2010 9:49 am

    Different perceptions, I think; I thought Obama was trying to *fix* the stupidities of health insurance.

    The CPAP is effective, if you actually use it. When they asked if my husband could use one at home, I absolutely refused. If I can’t keep a nebulizer on him for twenty minutes… Finally, they agreed that he needed a nursing home.

    Personally, I’d prefer the dog. But then I always loved retrievers.

    • January 14, 2010 3:42 pm

      I agree l’empress. That was sourcasm. Republicans blame everything on Obama…our current health care, the reason we went to war, the weather, NBC screwing around with their night-time line-up!

  7. lee permalink
    January 14, 2010 2:51 pm

    i have a CPAP machine set at 8% sitting in my garage unused. technically it belongs to the supplier, but they never returned my twice-daily-for-a-month calls when i decided i would rather die in my fitful sleep than get no sleep at all. if you are serious about needing one, we can work something out! i can’t sleep with it at all!

    • January 14, 2010 3:44 pm

      That’s nice of you lee, but I want to have one that’s new and set for me. I can’t imagine it can make my sleeping any worse. Every one who I know with one has had nothing to say but good things about it. I’ve shared hotel rooms with people who have them and good god almighty, they no longer snored so we all got a good night’s sleep!

  8. lee permalink
    January 14, 2010 4:15 pm

    dang! i was hoping to trade for jewelry but i’m glad you have one. i have tried it but i feel like i’m being smothered. my stepdad had a CPAP machine and when he died, she couldn’t sleep without it being turned on.

  9. January 14, 2010 9:07 pm

    Aren’t doggers wonderful? They always have your best interests in mind. But I’m really confused. Are you or are you not an Obama fan?

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