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Pullies and Levers, Be Gone!

February 2, 2010

Today, the day before they take my boobs away (Hurray!) I plan to lay around and do nothing more than Thing 2’s laundry. Which, I know, he can do himself but I want to do it for him. Because I wuv him.

I’ve got some chest congestion going on and a whole lot of post-nasal drip, and the last thing I want to do is postpone surgery, so I intend to take in as many liquids as I can. Stupid stress and the illness it induces.

I hope you all will be participating in the Group Grope tomorrow at 1:00, my time. What time zone am I again? Central Standard Time? I don’t remember. That must be right because I wouldn’t just make that up, right?

Most important – get your mammograms. Had I not had that one last year, they might not have rushed me in for surgery so fast. There was nothing on last year’s mammogram, so the findings of last week’s mammogram show the rapid growth of these tumors.

Yesterday I ran some errands and as I pulled up my ever-falling bra straps, I kept celebrating the fact that I won’t have to deal with that crap any more.

And my back will have less of a burden to haul around.

And I won’t have to put safety pins between the buttons of my button-down shirts.

And I won’t suffer from wet bra in the summer.

And I’ll be able to wear shirts from the general population of women’s apparel. Buh-bye big lady shirts!

And the money I will save, not having to replace over-burdened pullies and levers.

No more giant brassieres.

I can’t believe I had to get breast cancer in order to get rid of a woman’s most obnoxious part of her wardrobe.  But then, when have I ever done anything quietly?

I’ll shout it loud, I’ll shout it proud – BUH-BYE BOOBIES! You turned on me and it’s time for you to go!

Of course, I might feel a bit differently once they’re gone. I’ll keep you posted on my feelings about the loss of my breasteses.

22 Comments leave one →
  1. February 2, 2010 9:34 am

    Hugs and kisses, my friend. Take good care of yourself!

  2. February 2, 2010 10:09 am

    You had me at “wet bra in the summer”.

  3. poolagirl permalink
    February 2, 2010 10:20 am

    Love you, Kathy. Talk to you soon!

  4. February 2, 2010 10:23 am

    I believe with all my heart that one of the best feelings in the world is right when the anesthesia starts to take hold and you feel totally relaxed and stoned (and then the next thing you know is waking up.) So make the most of what you get tomorrow, enjoy that delicious moment, and as much time as you get to think of nothing at all. And when you wake up, it will all be a story to tell and nothing more. I’ll be thinking of you — 2:00 my time, I think — and secretly groping.

  5. February 2, 2010 10:47 am

    I’m in for the Group Grope!! Sending you the best of thoughts, my dear Kathy, and may your recovery be quick and easy. One of my bestest friends turned 50 on Sunday and is going in for a mammogram later today.

  6. dakotagirl permalink
    February 2, 2010 10:49 am

    My mammogram is scheduled for the 15th of this month. I’ll be thinking of you as they sqweesh my boobs. I’m in for the Group Grope also, and will keep you in my thoughts tomorrow.

  7. yaketyyak permalink
    February 2, 2010 12:09 pm

    Count me in for the Group Grope!

  8. February 2, 2010 12:35 pm

    I’m right there with Group Grope! While I only lost one, after reconstruction when things leveled out(?!!?), life was better. Now they are not so heavy and, yes, droopy. I never mourned the right one. Take that disease riddled thing. Now lefty is all pert and happy.

    Seriously now – I am here for you and will be thinking about you. Good luck. You will do fine.

  9. fran permalink
    February 2, 2010 1:08 pm

    I quit wearing bras about 6-7 years ago, I have smallish boobs that sag, no less. I love wearing a snug little camisole, it warms me in the winter and is much more comfy in the summer than a wet bra that is tight and sticks to your skin.

  10. February 2, 2010 1:24 pm

    group grope – I am here and love you.

  11. Sue permalink
    February 2, 2010 1:40 pm

    I’m sending healing thoughts your way. Good luck tomorrow!

  12. February 2, 2010 1:52 pm

    Oh my gosh…you’ve pointed out so many reasons why I may have to see if there’s an adjoining table next to yours so we can get a group rate, the “bye 2 seeya 4” special.

  13. February 2, 2010 2:24 pm

    We’ll all have our clocks set for you tomorrow. And remember, *it will be okay*. If you believe that as you fall asleep, you’ll feel better as you wake up.

    Then you can tell everyone all about it, and I will tell you what happened to me. 😉

  14. Cathy permalink
    February 2, 2010 2:48 pm

    Take care tomorrow! I’ll be thinking about you, and sending positive thoughts!

  15. February 2, 2010 3:18 pm

    I’ll be group groping at 1:00 PM my time tomorrow, I can never figure out what time is where.

    By this time tomorrow…you will be all “why hello morphine!”

    The universe will be keeping an eye on you!

    Take Kare Kathy (clever no?)

  16. February 2, 2010 3:30 pm

    Best wishes for a smooth surgery and recovery tomorrow. I am all a twitter regarding the group grope…. I think I will need a cigarette afterwards, but that’s just me.

  17. Maureen permalink
    February 2, 2010 3:44 pm

    Very best of luck tomorrow Kathy-I will be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts at 10:00am my time.

  18. Debby permalink
    February 2, 2010 4:15 pm

    Thinking about you this afternoon, Kathy. *gentle hug*

  19. Stacie permalink
    February 2, 2010 4:19 pm

    I only just found your blog and wanted to say good luck (and way to go for having such an infective sense of humor)!!!

    I am a 46 year old survivor (same type). I have a science background and would be happy to put things in context if it helps, though it sounds like you have plenty of support already with your grope groupies ;). Definitely I recommend not paying for a wig. I bought one and then never wore it, so uncomfortable! Cute hats at

  20. Janice permalink
    February 2, 2010 5:34 pm

    I’ll be doing the group grope tomorrow, too. I know you will be fine, Kathy. We are all here for you.

  21. Rosie permalink
    February 2, 2010 6:28 pm

    Groping right along with everyone else…hugs to you darlin’!

  22. February 3, 2010 1:09 am

    group grope is written in ink on my calendar!

    if you are feeling brave, fight the anesthesia. i did it one time and just kept counting ( i got to 89!) and it was the most awesome thing ever, it felt like spiraling backwards down alice’s hole to wonderland as i passed out. i figured, what the hell, might as well get a little buzz out of a $20K hospital bill.

    we need to come up with a group drink to help k.lo through this. we can call it a no-tit-a-tini or a a mastectomy-on-the-beach or something. but it’s gotte be pink!

    k., let us know what spirit we should begin working with, you know, for you, not for our inedbriation but for your benefit only. in the name of science.

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