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Blue Jean Jacket Pocket Prosthesis

February 10, 2010

I am not in a happy place today. Not a good day to meet my oncologist for the first time. But, whaddya gonna do. I’m sure she’ll understand.

It’s the drains and the swollen mess that sits under my right arm, reminding me with every touch just how gross this is.

Good thing – I got to remove the safety pins from a button down shirt that I’m wearing today. Safety pins placed precisely between the buttons kept my old giant boobs from gaping the shirt open. No more gaping of button down shirts. Don’t know what to make of the darts, though. Maybe I’ll tuck snacks in my shirt darts. I also put on one of my favorite jean jackets and it fits really well. I was kidding myself before, thinking I looked all sassy with it stretched over the world’s meanest boobs. I thought to myself, “Hey! I can offer my jean jacket pockets for lipgloss storage! Let’s go to the disco!” I can keep all sorts of things in my jean jeacket pockets and that will work just like a prosthetic – cool!

I know. I find the good in the strangest of places. But it makes me chuckle and right about now, I could use a good chuckle.

My brother-in-law (sister’s husband) is trying to steal my spotlight by having had a TIA on Monday night (Hi Med Term pals!) – a mini-stroke to those not in the know. He’s okay. As okay as a guy who just had a mini-stroke can be. I think he timed it very poorly and we’ll have a little one-to-one when we’re both physically capable of driving to one another’s houses.

And today Scott’s aunt (his mom’s sister) is in surgery, having a lumpectomy. Because seriously? Can I not have all the attention? What do I have to do next to draw them all back to me me me?

Also? My oldest son willing went to a very safe and healthy place. I am so proud of him and I hope that he opens his heart to what he is about to receive. He can focus on getting better while I focus on getting better.

20 Comments leave one →
  1. February 10, 2010 1:37 pm

    I hope your meeting with your oncologist goes well. I think about you every day.

    P.S. Your masthead cracks me up. 🙂

  2. February 10, 2010 2:03 pm

    Everyone is trying to steal your boob thunder!

    You deserve all the attention. If I were in driving distance of you, I’d bring you some cupcakes or something. (to put in your dart shirts)

    Hope you have a kickass oncologist!


  3. February 10, 2010 2:06 pm

    My hope is that your meeting with your OC went really really well and you can get those wretched drains gone soon.

    I am so glad to hear your oldest is getting the help he needs and in no time will be in a much better place as well emotionally.

    Hugs all the way around — 🙂

  4. February 10, 2010 2:18 pm

    Geez – how are you managing to type so neatly and without typos what with all your drains and all? Although, I have to tell you – I’m in favor of drains. Better out than in.

  5. February 10, 2010 3:16 pm

    Love and hugs headed your way!!!

  6. dakotagirl permalink
    February 10, 2010 4:04 pm

    Can I have your safety pins?

  7. Rosie permalink
    February 10, 2010 4:41 pm

    TIA’s are rather fun, you almost feel as though you are on the ultimate high…totally spacey. Until you realize that you haven’t taken anything to warrant being spacey and high. Then you panic a bit. Hope your BIL gets better so he will quit hogging your limelight! Sheesh! Talk about upstaging someone!

    And here’s hoping that your eldest gets his poop in a group…for good. I’ve got my youngest back here, and so far, so good. Time is a helpful factor.

    Hugs to you my dearest!

  8. February 10, 2010 4:58 pm

    Seriously, bad timing, everyone! Since I don’t know any of the people trying to steal your thunder, you still have my full attention.

    YAY for your son going willingly. May he finally accept the help he needs. Keeping my fingers crossed on that front as well.

  9. Jean permalink
    February 10, 2010 5:02 pm

    What?! I’m sure all of their health nonsense was planned to distract from your Norma Desmond routine! Those drainage things look icky and weird. How long do you have to have them in? And the other serious question – is it bizarre to look down and be able to see your shoes?

    So glad about Thing 1. Funny what motivates. Or not so funny.

    Love ya, Kath!

  10. katie permalink
    February 10, 2010 5:08 pm

    Good to keep hearing from you, Kath. I wonder if the way you’re/you’ve dealt with your “things” hasn’t awaken Thing 1 to the seriousness of his “things”.

    I’ve always referred to TIA’s as “temporary interuption of the arteries” — but — no fair! This is suppose to be the time for YOU, YOU, YOU!!!

    Keep taking good care. And hugs to your good ‘nurse’.

  11. Floweer permalink
    February 10, 2010 6:23 pm

    Good for Thing 1. He was able to watch you go thru all this muck – with wit, a bit of sarcasm and strength. He has all that in him – and more. Proud of all the Logic’s. Nurse Logic – you are awesome. Stella Mirra – need a playdate with Ellie Myrtle?

    Luv ya guys!

  12. sting permalink
    February 10, 2010 7:10 pm

    I am so hopeful for Thing 1. No doubt about it – it’s a rough time on so many counts. Darkest before dawn? You all are in my prayers.

  13. Leslie permalink
    February 10, 2010 7:51 pm

    Glad to hear the boy is coming around. That must be so heartening for you. Hope you will be feeling better and better as each day passes.

  14. February 10, 2010 10:13 pm

    Good for your son! Maybe the thought of losing you made him think a bit. Good comes from the strangest places sometimes…

  15. February 11, 2010 5:43 am

    That’s great news about your son. I wish you both all the best, and hope you will continue to find the good wherever you can.

  16. Sue permalink
    February 11, 2010 7:38 am

    You crack me up! Snacks to fill out the darts = good thinking! Maybe you’ll end up being a trendsetter after all of this. Glad to hear your son made a good decision. Good luck to your whole family and extended family.

  17. February 11, 2010 8:18 am

    Yay for Thing 1! May this be the beginning of a new life for him.
    Don’t worry about your family stealing your thunder. We don’t care nuthin about no relatives! We are here for you and only you!! Take care.

  18. February 11, 2010 9:34 am

    Over the last six years, I’ve grown quite fond of my oncologist. I still see him every six months — what a relationship!

    Keep the big shirts for now; easy access is important. Next year you can donate them to charity.

    You reminded me, just now, that as an adolescent I used to stuff kleenix in my jacket pockets to make me look as if I had more than I did. But they’ve gotten in my way more often than not.

  19. poolagirl permalink
    February 11, 2010 10:22 am

    Good luck with your onc. And blessings to all of you. Your son made a big step. Must have learned a few things from his momma.

  20. akkelly permalink
    February 11, 2010 11:48 am

    I will never understand the need by some people to upstage grand and deliberate drama with their own. Sheesh. And deep down I was wondering if the cancer would be the push to get Thing 1 into self-realization that he needs to walk away from his own disease-inflicted selfishness. Sucks that you had to go to these lengths, but if this can be another silver lining? Grab it in all its sparkly goodness. And don’t let go.

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