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They Take Away Your Breasts and They Take Away Your Freedom

February 12, 2010

Things are pretty much status quo right  now. I still have the drains in (I’m 99% sure one of them will come out on Monday). I still have swelling and discomfort. I still have breast cancer.

I just really really really really really want these stupid drains out. Because once they come out, I’ve got so many things I want to do. The biggest of these things is going through my shirts and sweaters and getting rid of the crap that only a big-breasted woman would wear. And get rid of those damned bras that I no longer need.

I also want these drains out so I can get out in the real world, like  a real person, and do some real things, like drive through the Dairy Queen. Real person stuff like that. I’ve only been out once since the surgery and that was to go back to the doctor’s office.

Cancer turns you into your senile great-aunt, being driven around for some fresh air before being returned to the nursing home by 4:30 p.m. In time for dinner.

I called the breast clinic yesterday because I started to get a rash where the original bandage had left adhesive behind. I’m allergic to adhesive. Of course I am. Insult To Injury should be my middle name. They suggested I put hydrocortisone cream on it – so my mom went running as fast as she could to get me some cream. I think I heard Fred Flinstone’s car-starting feet sound as she zoomed out of the house. She does not want me feeling one iota of worse for one second longer. I’m more than a little worried about her. She’s getting tired and she’s getting a little more confused. And it’s getting closer to April.

You know, April, when my mother claimed that she was going to die. However, now she claims she never said any such thing and that it was my grand-niece, Autumn, who said that her “little grandma” was going to die in April. My mother done blamed it on a 4-year-old!

A 4-year-old who calls her “little grandma” when truth be told, they’re about the same height.

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16 Comments leave one →
  1. February 12, 2010 1:24 pm

    Once those blasted drains are removed you will feel so much better! I know having those means you can get out of the hospital sooner, but what torture devices. I used to roll the wrong way and have one caught up on something just pulling at those little stitches that keep it in place. Oh, the memories that brings back!

    Hang in there. You really are doing great.

  2. February 12, 2010 1:37 pm

    Ugh, those drains sound like the exact opposite of fun. I’ll be sending you all my best thoughts that at least one comes out on Monday. You deserve a DQ run!!!

    It cracks me up that your mom is called “little grandma,” by a four-year-old no less. Love it.

  3. February 12, 2010 2:05 pm

    My gal-pal went out with her drains still attached. She simply put on a t-shirt and a men’s style shirt over that, and hid the drains under the men’s shirt. I think if you put them incognito, nobody will be the wiser, and you can enjoy your DQ drive-thru much sooner than Monday. Nothing should get between a woman and ice cream. Nothing.

  4. goatbarnwitch permalink
    February 12, 2010 2:13 pm

    I agree that the DQ drive through should be done sooner rather than later, even if you demand to be chauffeured. Ice cream is one of the worlds great equalizers and you sure deserve some equalizing right now. I hope the drains are a thing of the past soon and you can do some things that will be healing to your whole self.

  5. February 12, 2010 2:51 pm

    Yeah, the drains are a nuisance and a pain. You will indeed feel better after they’re out. And it’s a little easier when having them removed is something to look forward to.

    Be aware, however, that while you’re in treatment, you are more susceptible to infection. They’ll keep reminding you — don’t go out in crowds, steam your vegetables (I happen to love raw vegetables), wash your hands… They didn’t want me to go to the office, until I pointed out that hardly anyone ever came in.

    But I’m happy to say I must have done something right, ’cause I didn’t get sick.

  6. Ruth from SC permalink
    February 12, 2010 3:01 pm

    Happy Birthday tomorrow Kathy……I think the fam should smuggle you out for a DQ drive-thru!!

  7. Floweer permalink
    February 12, 2010 6:28 pm

    Can I bring you Cold Stone for your birthday tomorrow? All you have to do is call – and I will deliver.
    Have a good Birthday. You do have a lot to celebrate.
    Luv ya!

  8. dan permalink
    February 12, 2010 8:01 pm

    happy B Day the drains will pass soon call when you need

  9. Leslie permalink
    February 12, 2010 8:22 pm

    Happy Birthday – I hope you get to eat ice cream!

  10. February 12, 2010 9:12 pm

    Too sweet: “Little Grandma.”
    That’s what one of my sons (it’s been so long, now that they’re 21 and 17, that I don’t remember which; how time flies!) as a small child called my little grandma, his great-grandma, who is only 4’10” tall.
    He called my mom, who was plump, “Soft Grandma.”
    She thought that was hilarious.
    Your mom is doing the “mom thing” right, finally! Yay, your mom.

  11. poolagirl permalink
    February 12, 2010 11:29 pm

    Sending you a cyber Dilly Bar!

  12. February 13, 2010 9:39 am

    Hoping for a speedy removal of those drains!

  13. mkm permalink
    February 13, 2010 7:58 pm

    My sister is allergic to adhesive – she found out during when her first child was born via c-section – it was not pretty. Then, they wrote it all over the charts during the 2nd birth and somehow it was ignored and what a mess that was. It’s bad enough to be dealing with everything else and then to have an allergic reaction is adding salt to the wounds (so to speak). Hope the drains are removed very soon!

  14. February 13, 2010 8:53 pm

    Apparently coating your skin in Mylanta helps protects it from the adhesive. I have to try it for my knee so I’ll let you know how it goes 🙂 Thinking drain removing thoughts for you! Bels

  15. Collectable Sue #1 permalink
    February 13, 2010 11:34 pm

    We can call the “senile Great-aunt” Jo! Yep, gotta get her back by 4:30, you don’t wan her to miss that warmed up nursing home food. I’m hoping you can get those drains out this week so you start doing some lunches out. Call me!

  16. February 13, 2010 11:53 pm

    Happy Birthday!!!! Thought you might like to know I finally went and got eight sets of Fiesta dishes today in honor of your birthday…they were on sale at Kohl’s and I had a 30% off coupon. Enjoy that red velvet cake and I hope you get your DQ to top it off!!!! Hugs. (even though you don’t like them. I’ll be careful of the drains.)

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