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What Doesn’t Kill You Won’t Kill You

March 15, 2010

Feeling much better, I decided to run some errands today. Me + Cancer = The Same Person with a Twist.

First thing I did was to return that dang CPAP machine. You see, because I have had a difficult time with the sleeping, due to my breasteses being lopped off, I have refused to continue to struggle with the CPAP. This choice I made has forced the sleepy institute to label me “Non-Compliant”. Once the sleepy institute labels you non-compliant, the insurance company doesn’t want to cover the cost of your CPAP.

I had to be compliant for 21 days for insurance to cover my CPAP. Alas, I got The Cancer at a bad time (I would have preferred to time my getting The Cancer to after Thing 2’s high school graduation, but, what are you gonna do). That being said, the sleepy institute didn’t feel the need to work with me and shuffle some paperwork until a later date so it was suggested that we either return the CPAP before the 20th of this month or we pay for the CPAP out of our own pocket.

Decisions. Decisions. Pay cash for a machine that keeps me more awake than asleep, as I heal from breast removal surgery (hello Medical Terminology Pals!) or return.

So I took that mofo over to the CPAP office of the sleepy institute and had a really fun time with a technician who had the personality of a CPAP machine (breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out).

You know what unfriendly people get from me these days?

My attitude. Yes they do!

“If you want to use a CPAP in the future, you’ll have to go through a sleep study test all over again.”

“No I won’t,” I said.

“Yes. You will.”

“There’s nothing that can put this on hold while I deal with cancer and the chemo?”

“No.”

“Alright then. Cancer trumps CPAP. Take it away!”

“Put the supplies in the bag, you’ll have to pay for those.”

“That makes sense. I can’t use the thing and I get to buy and own the things I can’t use with it.”

“It’s insurance.”

“No it’s not.”

Man. I was peppy and crabby. I do believe the fever is finally gone and I am back!

Also? Diet Coke tastes good again!

I made my Go Away sign for the front door. Just so you know – we have a very very very long sidewalk that leads to our front door. There’s no shorter way to get to the front door unless you want to hop a fence. Once you reach the front door and have to turn back, rejected, it’s a long walk back out to the street.

So my sign reads:

No

Soliciting

Sorry you had to walk so far

to learn this.

But hey,

we did something

good for your heart

and you left us the heck alone.

It’s all good.

I’m going to be tempted to follow their course from the windows at the front of my house.

I might just wave.

Seriously. I am feeling much better now. If you hadn’t noticed.

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. Leslie permalink
    March 15, 2010 1:20 pm

    You should market that sign! It could pay for a lot of CPAPs … or diet cokes. Seriously, I would buy one!

  2. March 15, 2010 1:39 pm

    Look out, world! KLo is back! Woot!!

  3. Marcia permalink
    March 15, 2010 2:11 pm

    Love this sign and am stealing from you. Not the sign, just the words.

  4. March 15, 2010 2:13 pm

    *le sigh* I wish I would have come and kidnapped you yesterday. But you got to sit in the warm sunshine, which trumps what a Yum! cupcake can do to your midsection Every Time.

    Good to see You back!

  5. March 15, 2010 2:28 pm

    Stupid CPAP robot! Ugh.

    LOVE your sign. And I hope it works!

  6. March 15, 2010 2:29 pm

    I love love love that sign. May I borrow it for my house?

  7. March 15, 2010 3:23 pm

    Aww man that sign is GENIUS. I wish you could install a hidden camera so we could see the reactions of those ministers as they read it. Haha.

    • March 15, 2010 3:24 pm

      It’s not just for the ministers. It’s also for the tree trimmers. I can’t throw a stick without hitting a tree trimmer going door to door. That’s what I get for living in an old neighborhood with lots of trees.

  8. capitolady permalink
    March 15, 2010 5:46 pm

    love the sign! Glad you are your ornery self!

  9. March 16, 2010 1:36 am

    I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling better, Kathy. Chemo is a roller coaster.

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