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The First Rule of Chemo…

April 1, 2010

…is to pee it all out.

I guess it’s not like getting your eggs fertilized. They don’t want you to lay upside and let the chemo ferment away all of your cancer cells.

They want to give it to you and get you to drink and drink and drink, to flush it out.

So yesterday, my #1 goal was to drink and drink and drink followed by flushing and flushing and flushing. It’s a good thing my utility company doesn’t charge me by flush because I drank alot.

I woke up 4 pounds lighter, by the way. Which is good because I gained 5 pounds the day of chemo. Boy, do they load you up before sending you home.

The hardest thing about this input/output process is that the chemo effects your tastebuds and everything tastes just plain weird. Not metallic. Just off. I tolerated 1/2  diet coke yesterday. Blecch.

Food tastes off. I remember after chemo #1, I was so afraid I’d feel nausea that I wanted to make sure I ate, and kept my tummy full. But I ended up eating too much which gave me heartburn and a very upset stomach. Making my stomach hurt, and causing nausea. Yesterday I logged everything I ate and drank, and ended up with absolutely no naseau. Which allowed me to stay away from the anti-nauseau medication, which allowed me to not have to get the constipation that goes along with the anti-nausea medication.

I am the Chemo Whisperer. Who speaks very loudly about things people shouldn’t mention to the general public.

I figured out what it’s going to take to get me to flush out the chemo: McDonald’s Sweet Tea – the largest size known to mankind. Normally that stuff is way too sweet for me. But now that my tastebuds are flat for awhile, it tasted great. Watch for me in your McDonald’s drive-thru line today! (I don’t want to go to the same one because they’ll think I’m addicted. This is the same plan I am going to adopt when I take up drinking pints of vodka – liquor store hopping.)

Yesterday I was a bare-headed-in-public chicken. I wore a knit hat to the grocery store. I did stop by the frame shop and took it off. there. I was just showing off for my friend, the geeky hair-piece-wearing  bald asthmatic (hiya Steve!)  But then I put it back on to run a few errands. Later on, I picked Thing 2 up from school early and took  him to the Arby’s drive-thru, with my bald head. I also went to my little brother’s and Sting’s houses, bald. Today the temperature is supposed to reach almost 80. I might give a run to Target with my bald head shining. If I can do that, I’ll know that I’m as brave as you people keep telling me that I am.

Which, I don’t believe, I am. I’m not brave. I’m just taking this one step at a time. You’d do it the same way. Only you’d probably be a bit shier when it comes to talking about peeing. You wouldn’t tell everyone that by the time you got up to pee at 3:15 this morning, you ended up peeing in your new pajamas before you got to the bathroom.

You are brave enough to keep that stuff to yourself.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. April 1, 2010 12:04 pm

    Ummm that happens to me when I have a cold and cough…

  2. Sue permalink
    April 1, 2010 12:19 pm

    McDonald’s large $1.06 Sweet Tea is the nectar of the Gods! Just to let you know, though, they put 4 lbs. of sugar into one 5 gallon container. My son’s friend works there and she thinks I should stop drinking it because of the sugar, but I can’t, I’m addicted! I love it!

  3. Leslie permalink
    April 1, 2010 2:49 pm

    Just make sure you use sunscreen! Nothing worse than a sunburnt scalp.

    You rock, you really do.

  4. poolagirl permalink
    April 1, 2010 2:51 pm

    Once again, I am in awe of you. And yes, you are brave. To me, anyway. And me is all I can understand.

  5. April 1, 2010 3:02 pm

    Love the Sweet Tea right now- and I’m an unsweetened tea kinda girl when not sick and pregnant. Good thing it’s only a buck right!

    • April 1, 2010 3:03 pm

      I’m an unsweetened tea girl, myself. But for some reason, I can’t abide by it right now (sad face)

  6. Floweer permalink
    April 1, 2010 4:28 pm

    You are very brave. I admire the heck out of you. Thank you for being a teacher thru this process.

  7. April 1, 2010 9:10 pm

    Why is it not brave to talk about it, Cathy?
    Maybe it’s not “stoic” to talk about it, but stoicism has been mistaken for courage for far too long.
    It takes just as much guts to be open and let your vulnerabilities show. It helps everyone who reads it, because when it’s our turn to go through our own hells of all kinds, we will remember that a brave woman doesn’t always bite her tongue. And we might not try to silence ourselves, when that takes energy we might need for our battlegrounds. Capiche?

  8. April 1, 2010 9:11 pm

    Whoops. I mean -K-athy.
    This is what having a -C-athy for a best friend does to me.

  9. April 3, 2010 12:10 am

    This can’t be the way it’s supposed to be. They must have left something out when they realized I had (HAD) cancer way back in September (ALMOST SEVEN MONTHS!!! Ugh). I wish I could drink more so I’d get the chemo out faster, but there’s something unappealing about liquids. I only drink water and even that’s hard to swallow. This is so unfair! I donated two slightly saggy breasts and have always eaten all of my vegetables. I don’t do all the nasty things a lot of people do. I exercise. I’m kind 99.9999% of the time. I’m a little lost in the earning a living category, but I’ve never robbed a bank or anything like that.

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