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Gray is the new Blecch

April 3, 2010

Gray is the color of my tastebuds. Everything they taste, tastes of gray.

Gray is the color of my stomach. Everything that lands there turns to gray.

I try, as hard as I can, to eat and to drink. To flush that horrible chemo out. But I can’t because everything tastes like I imagine it would be like to lick the back of a komodo dragon. Or perhaps just the back of a salamander as I am brave, but not stupid.

It makes me very crabby. Oh so very crabby. And it makes me feel very sorry for myself. Woe is me and my lack of flavors.

I got a good night’s sleep last night but today my fingernails ache, so I’m sure this is the day they go flying in all directions. Wear protective eyewear around me. If I let you around me. Right now, I don’t want to talk to any of you. You and your No Cancer make me feel even more sorry for myself. Lucky bastards.

Oh. One thing I did enjoy the flavor of: Hot Tamale candies. They tasted like something. Anything not gray. I have discovered that I want spicy food more than bland food. Because at least I get something out of the spicy. Even if it’s just a bathroom stay.

I know. Too far. I like to spread my hell around. Makes it less heavy for me to carry all by myself. Thanks. You are peaches for putting up with  me.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. yaketyyak permalink
    April 3, 2010 11:43 am

    Hell, I feel sorry for myself quite frequently, and I don’t have nearly as good a reason as you do. I hope your taste buds get back to normal soon!

  2. Lena permalink
    April 3, 2010 12:07 pm

    Gripe on, K-Lo. You have every right and we’re absolutely here to listen. Whatever helps, okay?

  3. April 3, 2010 12:33 pm

    Sending you hugs even though you never ask for them.

  4. Floweer permalink
    April 4, 2010 6:14 am

    Vent away. It is safe to let go. I won’t stop reading – and I won’t stop caring. You are all in my heart. Love you.

  5. April 4, 2010 6:29 pm

    I was just talking to my friend who’s Dad just went through Cancer (two kinds, Lung and Colon) and he stopped eating bread because the texture changed and he hated it. But he loved ice cream and potato chips. Don’t know why but those two things really tasted good to him because he could actually taste them.

    You can be as crabby as you want this is your Cancer — Jesus I get crabby when I get hot flashes and am menopausal.


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