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So Rude!

April 10, 2010

Oh dear. My poor, gentle readers. After reading that last entry of mine, they probably all hopped in their cars and drove to the nearest Catholic church for confession. Even if they aren’t Catholic.

My husband put me in the car and took me for a drive to the country. Just the attitude adjustment I needed. I’ve sequestered myself in the house for much too long. It’s just that I don’t like going out because I just don’t feel like it. Not in the mood. Don’t wanna.

I know it’s okay for me to stay in the house, especially on days 7-14, where my immune system is most at risk. It’s just that I’ve got cancer, and I’ve had chemo, and my hair is gone, and I just don’t feel good. I don’t feel good, in general, and I don’t feel good about how I look.

Remember how I was “I don’t give a crap about being bald!” Now that push has come to shove, I do give a crap about being bald. Not crappy enough to put up with a wig.  Hell, no. Everyone who wears one complains about how uncomfortable and scratchy and hell-like they are. I hate hats. I  hate each every one of the hats I’ve bought. I want to wear baseball caps. I look acceptable-to-me in baseball caps. Unfortunately they irritate my sensitive noggin’. Maybe once the folliculitis is gone they won’t irritate me so much. Maybe I need to build my bald head tolerance up. Get some calluses on my head.

I don’t know.

But I do know that I don’t feel like swearing in front of you all.

For the moment.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. April 10, 2010 9:40 pm

    Maybe if you tied a soft scarf on your head and then put the cap on, it would feel okay. Hey, it’s a look.

  2. April 10, 2010 10:02 pm

    Too hot. I already tried. xox

  3. goatbarnwitch permalink
    April 11, 2010 6:33 am

    Swear as much as you need or want… use compound swear words if that helps… I could think of a few to use for you if you like – I really think it sucks that you are going through all this mess. Have you checked out knit caps… you know the ones that look like they belong on the old world paperboy, not a baseball cap but still that shape but with some slouch.

  4. yaketyyak permalink
    April 11, 2010 7:19 am

    If I didn’t swear the way I do, I’d kill someone.

  5. April 11, 2010 9:12 am

    Swear away. I’m Catholic. You won’t scare me.

  6. April 11, 2010 10:09 am

    Please don’t ever censor yourself. We love you because you say what you’re thinking/feeling at that moment. Do what you have to do to survive this time in your life. We’re here to cuss with you, laugh with you or cry with you. Whatever you need.

  7. April 11, 2010 10:43 am

    Cotton caps. They’re soft and comfortable. You can put whatever you want over them, because they don’t slip. I learned to tie a scarf over them. (But that’s because when I wear a baseball cap, people call me “sir.”)

  8. Claudia permalink
    April 11, 2010 11:55 am

    How about just the scarf — Jackie O’ish….. (get an expensive one, or, get a burberry or hermes knock off!) Want me to go to Chinatown for you?


  9. April 11, 2010 3:26 pm

    Swear to your heart’s content. Do whatever you want with your head. You have enough to deal with taking chemo and just dealing with the fact you had (notice I said had) cancer!

  10. April 11, 2010 3:36 pm

    How about a wig liner, they’re kind of soft, under the baseball cap.

  11. kim birt permalink
    April 11, 2010 10:29 pm

    go to sally’s and get your self some do-rags and then top it off with the baseball hat… or find out how Rhoda tied her scraves on Mary Tyler Moore,,, and you are entitled to drop the F bombs… cancer sucks… try it…

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