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April 13, 2010

Imagine, if you will, both of your breasts being gone. Imagine, if you will, all of your hair being gone.

Now get yourself in your imaginary car and drive yourself to the imaginary mall. Pretend to walk around the mall. Imagine standing in line with other people while you all wait to order food. Get your food. Have a seat by yourself and eat your imaginary food. Then get up and walk some more and go shopping for clothing or for shoes.

You’ve got no breasts and you’ve got no hair.

How comfortable do you think you would feel?

Just wondering.

18 Comments leave one →
  1. April 13, 2010 3:06 pm

    wow I’m a bit speechless. This is one powerful post and should be used to encourage woman to go get normal exam’s of all medical types.

    I can’t imagine how I would feel but I want to applaud your brevity and your bravery!

  2. April 13, 2010 3:38 pm

    Very powerful writing. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that would be. But you’re an amazing woman to have done it.

  3. poolagirl permalink
    April 13, 2010 3:38 pm

    Well said, my friend.

  4. Beth permalink
    April 13, 2010 3:40 pm

    I would feel like absolute shit.

    Maybe now’s a good time to try a hijab?…I’m just saying – you could do some experiment and see if anyone even notices you!

    I’m really, really sorry that you’re having this happen in your life. It sounds like hell.

  5. April 13, 2010 4:12 pm

    Kathy – this is probably one of the most well said, powerful, and meaningful things I have read anywhere in a really long time. Thank you for being so real in your trek. I wish I could change places with you and you weren’t going through this. hugs and love.

  6. lap permalink
    April 13, 2010 4:33 pm

    I know you didn’t write this with the intention of wowing us all or anything, but wow. Miraculously effective writing. But you’re pretty effective at living too darling, so it’s really no surprise.

  7. Melanie permalink
    April 13, 2010 4:52 pm

    I’m imagining. Not a fun trip. Rooting for you in Mississippi.

  8. Floweer permalink
    April 13, 2010 7:36 pm

    Wow. Leaving me speechless. Thanks for putting these words out there. The reality is so powerful. Just feel like I got thunked on the head – and I needed it. I am proud of you. And humbled.

  9. April 13, 2010 7:55 pm

    Just before I was diagnosed I saw a young bald woman at the mall with a bandanna on. I felt sorry for her. When I was diagnosed that was one of my first thoughts and I didn’t want anyone to pity me. (stupid pride now I know) That’s why I wore a wig. I would have rather been uncomfortable (although I got used to it) than see pity in anyone’s face. I could be breast cancer anonymous. No matter how crappy I felt, unless I told them no one ever knew what I was going through. Sometimes that bit me in the butt though, everyone expected a lot more of me than I felt like giving. Wish now I had been more real and open about how it was.

    Thanks for putting your feelings out there for those who have not been through it .

  10. Claudia permalink
    April 13, 2010 8:04 pm

    Can’t imagine.

    I love you. xoxo

  11. April 13, 2010 8:50 pm

    Cannot even begin to imagine. I have a hard time going to the grocery store by myself (with my hair and boobs).

    You are far braver than I will ever be.

  12. Paula permalink
    April 13, 2010 9:01 pm

    Wow. Also, sniffle & weep.

  13. April 13, 2010 11:42 pm

    I think I’d feel unattractive & self conscious. When I see a person out in the world with any noticeable issue I don’t stare or try to figure out what is going on with them. Keep going out anyway-I prefer to think I would too.

  14. April 14, 2010 7:17 am

    Wow! To be brutally honest, I don’t think I would have the courage to do it. I can barely go to the mall alone, with boobs and hair. You on the other hand…you rock!

  15. April 14, 2010 1:01 pm

    I’ve been doing that for oh, four months. I’m fine with it. Are you saying you’re not? I’ve met a lot of women who have had breast cancer or know someone who has or had breast cancer because I walk around au natural. It’s been quite an adventure actually. Most other people don’t pay any attention. Although I do remember a fellow student’s eyes pop out in the elevator when she realized I was sans breasts. That look was priceless.

  16. April 14, 2010 1:03 pm

    I’ve been doing that for four months and have had some interesting interactions with women have had breast cancer or know someone who has or had breast cancer. It’s been quite an adventure actually. I feel connected in a way I hadn’t before.

    • April 14, 2010 1:40 pm

      Maybe it’s Minnesota, but I’ve only seen one bald-headed-woman (she was in a 1950’s housewife scarf) since riding the happy fun cancer train. Except at the oncology office. Where it’s like a Clown Car of Bald Headed Women!

  17. yaketyyak permalink
    April 15, 2010 5:53 pm

    No doubt about it – I’d feel VERY uncomfortable.

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