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Say What?

April 28, 2010

When I told The Big Nugget (who is wearing the Prayer Shrug as I type this, by the way) that I felt as though I looked like Uncle Fester – and there was nothing anybody could say to make me feel differently, he said, “Don’t you mean Pugsley?”

Motherfucker better sleep with his eyes open tonight or he’s going to wake up dead, with a turquoise prayer shrug wrapped around his nutsack.

I know, I know. Pugsley is sort of cuter than that creepy Uncle Fester, but at least the Uncle Fester comparison had something to do with being baldheaded and not just chubby.

p.s. In case you haven’t already googled it, this is a prayer shrug. Similar to the acrylic arms of Jesus I received. Only mine is turquoise:

I’m sure that some people appreciate this kind of thing. I’m just not sure why someone would think I was that type of person.

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16 Comments leave one →
  1. April 29, 2010 1:11 am

    Is it like a sweater without sides? I wouldn’t know what to do with it.

    • April 29, 2010 10:06 am

      It is a sweater without sides! Or a front. Or a back. Or a top. Or a bottom. It’s pretty much a scarf with tubes on each end so you can wear it like a sweater that’s not a sweater. And then you can pray. Because without it, how can you?

  2. Poolie permalink
    April 29, 2010 2:32 am

    How and where dies he wear that? I immediately thought of something…..um….. A bit bigger than a nose sock!

  3. Jean permalink
    April 29, 2010 8:00 am

    I think it looks like something a conjoined Chili Pepper twins might wear at a concert to cover their respective (but not conjoined) boy parts.

    Hey, I guess you didn’t say WHERE The Big Nugget was wearing this adornment…hee!!!

  4. April 29, 2010 8:14 am

    So if you don’t pray while wearing it, is it just a shrug? It looks more like a straight jacket. Why do you need to wear a shrug while you pray? Maybe my former roommate needs a prayer shrug so she can have some Jesus arms. She told me she’s the bride of Jesus. She’s not even Catholic. If all the nuns are brides of Jesus, he must be the grandaddy of all polygamists.

  5. Gretchen permalink
    April 29, 2010 8:25 am

    Almost entirely not related to anything you said – A coworker had a really pretty winter scarf she called her salvation scarf. She was kind of churchy so I never asked about it, but then she asked if I wanted to know why she called it that. One Christmas her mother-in-law gave several family members scarves, and a few others got something like a Bible study guide or something. She explained – the people who got scarves were already saved, but the ones who got the books still needed to work on it. Salvation scarf!

    • April 29, 2010 10:05 am

      I’d probably get a bible and a shovel so that I could dig my own hole to hell.

  6. April 29, 2010 9:12 am

    Have you ever heard the term “prayer shawl”? In Hebrew it’s called a tallit, and men wear it during certain prayers. A boy often receives his first tallit at his Bar Mitzvah.

    In the last forty years or so, as women have been accepted more and more into the worship rites, women have attempted to fashion a female version, though there’s nothing to prohibit their wearing a man’s tallit if nothing else is available.

    However, whether it’s formal or not, a tallit is a lot bigger than just arms!

    • April 29, 2010 10:13 am

      Addendum to the Rules of Engagement: If you don’t love Jesus, please don’t feel the need to share with me the doctrine of your people. My blog is not the place for religious teachings. You are going to feel offended because I’m going to have to continue to speak up on my own behalf. I don’t do religion. The end.

  7. April 29, 2010 9:58 am

    I’m currently wearing a shrug I picked up at the consignment store yesterday, but it’s not for praying. At least I don’t think it is. It was made in Bulgaria, so I guess it would be an Orthodox scarf if anything.

    At least you can wear it to keep you warm, if you get chilly. Turquoise would look lovely on you, I’m sure.

    • April 29, 2010 10:01 am

      Does it have tube-like armholes at the ends of it or is it a shawl? Jesus has tube-like armholes.

      • April 29, 2010 2:00 pm

        Oh this has tube-like armholes. Basically this shrug is just sleeves. It’s purple, though, not turquoise. I wish it were turquoise…

  8. April 29, 2010 10:06 am

    Am I the only one who can find a use for that thing? I like to snuggle under the blankets when I’m cold, but I often keep my arms out because I’m holding a book or the iPhone or something. And my arms get cold. But if I put on a sweatshirt, I will instantly get too warm and start having hot flashes. This is like a bed jacket, but without the actual jacket. I must get one of my kids, both knitters, to do one of these for me.

    • April 29, 2010 10:09 am

      This was made by the same woman who use to make “penis warmers”. Knitted penis covers that were attached to men’s underwear. She also made M&M pooping ducks. And toilet paper covers. She is the answer to global warming…take that plastic and turn it into a yarn canvas! (this is my maw-in-law’s handiwork btw. I understand that she just doesn’t know me very well to think I’d want a prayer anything)

  9. lap permalink
    April 29, 2010 5:06 pm

    I totally love shrugs, but I have never heard of them involving prayers or the arms of Jesus. I wonder if you have to keep up a ratio of prayers per knits and purls? When Courtney Love used to wear shrugs all the time (that looked like they were made out of old tights) I wonder if she used to pretend Kurt Cobain’s arms were wrapped around her? Hmmm.

  10. April 29, 2010 6:55 pm

    rotflmao!!!

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