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3 WEEKS

May 6, 2010

I CAN’T DECIDE IF I SHOULD TYPE IN ALL CAPS or all lowercase now that i’ll only be typing with my left hand. I SHOULD TAKE A TIMED TYPING AND SEE IF I COULD GET THE 34 WPM NEEDED TO ENROLL IN MY SCHOOL’S KEYBOARDING CLASS. alas, i am too mad to bother with that.

so here i am, with lymphedema (swollen arm) because of the most hateful cancer. each of my fingers needs to be wrapped, individually, along with the entire arm. or else the fingers would blow up like finger balloons. i have to keep on the same wrap that the PT put on me until tomorrow, when she’ll show me and the big nugget how to rewrap it every single damn day until the swelling goes down – about 3 weeks, the PT said, which – in my time = 6 weeks. i have never gotten through this type of crap on-time. hate.

i have to wear it all day and night – every day and night –  except to shower. put yourself in my place – and then ramp it up x 20 = me and my sorry self.

strangers have never asked me about my bald head – which i exposed full-throttle at  a restaurant yesterday. but everybody asks about the arm. my answer is – breast cancer bonus.

i don’t think i have ever felt so pathetic before in my life – and for awhile there in high school – i had acne.

so -if you send me an e-mail, it’s going to go unanswered for a few weeks.

i’d say it could be worse, but i’d be jinxing myself.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. May 6, 2010 12:32 pm

    I am just thinking of you!

  2. poolagirl permalink
    May 6, 2010 2:03 pm

    That sucks. Rocks. Big time.

  3. May 6, 2010 2:09 pm

    Yes, it’s rotten. I think your lymphatic system is supposed to acclimate, re-route and so forth, but I don’t know if it ever does. (Oh, that’s hopeful, isn’t it?) When the swelling goes down a little, your physical therapist may be able to help you keep it down.

    You could tell jerks who ask that you’re carring a concealed weapon under the bandages. Then dare them to ask again.

  4. May 6, 2010 2:24 pm

    *SIGH*

    Hugs.

  5. May 6, 2010 2:27 pm

    Kathy, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I’m thinking of you.

  6. katie permalink
    May 6, 2010 2:37 pm

    This is all just so NOT FAIR, Mayor Kath!

    At least you’re able to still keep in touch – be it all caps or otherwise. I was afraid after yesterdays entry, that it would be 3 (or 6) weeks before we heard from you again.

    So, lift a beer with the left hand, and see if you can get away with only showering every other day. Or, couldn’t you wrap your arm in a dry-cleaner bag, or something? Or have the big Nugget install a hand-held shower head? Better yet, get back to the beer!

  7. Gretchen permalink
    May 6, 2010 4:09 pm

    I’m trying to think of something cheery to say, but I got nothin’. That just sucks. I’m thinking of you, hope it goes quicker than they think it will.

  8. May 6, 2010 4:49 pm

    I want you to know, that we all don’t just think about you when we read your entry and then go on with our lives. The picture of your hand just kept popping up into my brain today while I was at work and I just cna’t tell you how bad I feel that you are going through ALL of this crap. {{HUGS!!!}}

  9. yaketyyak permalink
    May 6, 2010 5:09 pm

    I don’t know what to say except I’m really sorry for everything you’re going through.

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