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The Circle Game

May 18, 2010

I was just saying in an e-mail to my pal, akk, that I wasn’t going to blog today. Things are fine. I’m just tired of it all and tired of focusing on it enough to blog about it. I just want to do stuff, you know?  Not sit here and wait for this hell to go away.

I was just about to walk away from the computer when I remembered a conversation on the phone with my pal CiNDy yesterday.

Me: Hi

Her: Wait. I have to put my hair in a pony tail before we can talk.

Me: Sure. Rub it in, why don’t you, that you have hair and I don’t.

Her: I didn’t even think of that!

laughter laughter laughter (on both parts)

Me: I’m going to blog about that.

And so I did.

Also? Floweer called me the other day to tell me she knows exactly what I’m going through with the chemo because she was just on her way home from the dentist.

I won’t tell you why she was at the dentist but damned if she didn’t come incredibly close to sharing my pain.

Get better, Floweer. We need to go out for “ice cream” again, soon.

Oh, and I wonder…is that a sexually transmitted disease? I’m gonna google that.


Let’s wrap this up with some happy stuff, shall we?

The range of motion I now have in my arm? Almost like a real human being! I can move my arm in circles – over my head! Slowly. But it’s definitely progress. A lot of progress.

The lymphedema in my right arm? My aunt told my mom about how her mother, when she had cancer, had lymphedema in her arm, too, and that it went away once she was done with the chemo.  This is my life raft. I’m going to call my aunt some time this week and thank her for throwing it to me. Of course,  who knows if this is exactly what she said to my mother. Could have been “Oh! My mom had that, too, and she had to gnaw her arm off just to get through the front door!” My mother has sometimes been caught telling people the things she thinks they want to hear, and not the truth. If this is the case, I will give my mom an A for effort due to actually saying what I wanted to hear.  I’ll keep you posted.

This is an actual quote from my mother this weekend – at my other aunt’s (not the lymphedema raft aunt) surprise 80th birthday party (which I could not attend and was very sad that I could not because – I’m weird in that I love my extended family and always go to stuff, when invited).

My cousin Gina (to my mother): How are you?

Mom: Every day I wake up, it’s a good day for me. Every day I wake up, it’s a bad day for my kids.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 18, 2010 10:50 am

    Your Mom’s not going anywhere. She, and her brutal honesty, will continue to haunt you long after you’re able to fully use your arm to type funny stories about her.

    I, for one, LOVE your predictability. 😉

    Now go give that dog some hugs!

  2. capitolady permalink
    May 19, 2010 7:13 pm

    Bravo to your mom!

  3. judy permalink
    May 19, 2010 8:33 pm

    she IS funny!! xooxox

  4. May 20, 2010 1:01 pm

    Focus on nothing! Nothing! Just blog and see what happens… You might write some introspective zen-like stuff that could change the world! Or it might look something like this: we3oiu3r4ujfriwoe09vnn. Either way, something is coming out, and that’s good. 🙂 You remind me all the time of how I miss blogging and how it is good for me. I ❤ me some K Lo blogging.

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