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Doesn’t Play Well With Glasses

May 20, 2010

My wig came via Fed Ex today. I’m pretty sure I’m going to return it.

I look like my friend, Dick’s, mom – when she was 99 and 3/4 years old. There’s no gray in the wig. There was no gray in Dick’s mom’s wig.

Also?

Hot!  Tight! Doesn’t play well with glasses! And I hadn’t even worn it for more than half an hour.

I wanted one because I wanted to have it for the nicer restaurants. But after putting it on and futzing with it, I realized that I can hold off on the nicer restaurants until I have my old-school buzz cut that I’ve had before.

Good god. I am so not a wig person. But at least I tried, right?

Baseball caps are welcome at Psycho Suzi’s, Hell’s Kitchen, and Mac’s Industrial Sports Bar.

***

The cleaning people just left. I love the cleaning people. And I’m pretty sure that Stella agrees because while the cleaning people were here for a little over 2 hours, she and I sat in the back yard.  Together. I brushed her with the Furminator. I brushed  her so much she might want to keep the wig.

***

I’m in a mood to cook something. Not much of something. Maybe a couscous chicken salad sort of something. So off the the grocery store I go.

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. May 20, 2010 1:40 pm

    Yep you tried which is more than most. Ball caps are cool and they have dressy ones you can wear to fancy ass places if that’s what you wanna do.

    never had a couscous chicken salad are they any good?

    • May 20, 2010 2:43 pm

      I don’t know if couscous chicken salad is any good for I have no recipe. I just wanted couscous and chicken and some red peppers and maybe some tomatoes. With a dressing of some sort, to give it moisture. I’ll let you know what I come up with. If it turns out good.

      I’m just thrilled to be in a good enough mood to futz around the kitchen!!!

  2. poolagirl permalink
    May 20, 2010 1:55 pm

    You are the bomb in your caps. Stay the bomb!

  3. May 20, 2010 2:11 pm

    Was it itchy too?? I always thought wigs were itchy. Yuck. Ooo you could go all Jackie O and find a pillbox hat, complete with mini veil, for the fancier places!! Haha. Or, not.

  4. Lori in Houston permalink
    May 20, 2010 2:30 pm

    I absolutely hated my wig. If I had to do it over, I’d go with biker do-rags with skulls and flames. Or nothing at all. Go ahead and stare at me. I’ll show you who the bad ass is.

    • May 20, 2010 2:45 pm

      Lori – my high school girlfriend with the brain tumor bought a wig that looked just like Orphan Annie. Which was nothing like her hair. I suppose it was either that or something Zsa Zsa Gaborish, back in the 70s.

  5. Sue permalink
    May 20, 2010 2:54 pm

    My mother-in-law got a wig to wear when she went out because she thought the scarves she was wearing made her look like a gypsy. Let me tell you that wig made her look like she was dying!!! It wasn’t her style, color or anything near her real hair. She is 77 yrs. old and she thinks she looks great in it. I don’t think anyone has the heart to tell her how bad she looks when she wears it. Her hair is growing back now and is about 1/4″ long and she thinks its embarassing to go without her scarf or wig, but I think she looks way healthier with the little bit of fuzz she has growing than with that butt ugly wig! I think I would feel like I’m wearing a hat with it on, but that’s just me.

  6. May 20, 2010 4:31 pm

    Since I own about 5 wigs because of the whole “Rosie” thing, may I suggest that before you completely scrap the wig thing, perhaps going into the wig store might be best? You have to try on a bunch of them to get one that is right for you. I wish I was there, because I’d totally make it into a party. Just imagine writing about trying on a bunch of wigs! You could take pictures and post them and we could vote on the one we like best.

    Or, you could just stick with the whole ball cap thing. Whatever you are happy with! I liked Bluesleepy’s suggestion, make each day a “Say something” hat day, like in “To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar”. If you haven’t seen it, rent it. Patrick Swayze in drag is priceless.

  7. May 20, 2010 4:39 pm

    Oh, sorry, I thought I was Rosie there for a moment. Anyway, I’m a gerbil, and I’m pretty fluffy. If I come over, would you use the furminator on me?

  8. Jenn permalink
    May 20, 2010 10:43 pm

    If I sent you a pink mohawk wig, would you wear it? I figured I’d might as well mix it up if someone was going to stare at my bald head, you know?

    xxoo

  9. judy permalink
    May 20, 2010 10:45 pm

    you have a hair stylist living across the street from you….let me see the wig. xoxoxo

  10. Gretchen permalink
    May 21, 2010 9:47 am

    Does Stella like the Furminator? My dogs (2) love it and will stand in line for it. But I don’t know how they’re not bald when I’m done.

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