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A Call Out to mommylap Regarding Curtains

August 3, 2010

On Sunday I went to IKEA to look for curtains for our upstairs windows. Just something temporary until the trim gets put around the windows. And by “temporary” I mean “inifinity” because seriously? is this house ever going to be done? And really? Did we need to buy a 1963 Land Rover to work on before the remodelling was done?

I’ve been using shower curtains and sheets to cover the windows and it’s just really been ticking me off.

Enough so that I found myself at IKEA on a Sunday, people! Thank god I went by myself so that I could work my way through the shuffling aisle cloggers (wouldn’t it be awesome if they were all wearing Swedish clogs and were clogging aisle cloggers?)

I saw one of Thing 2’s buddies, who was working there – and I didn’t know he worked there. He said to me, “Why are you here on a Sunday? People who live here don’t come to IKEA on a Sunday!”

“I know!” I said, “I have no idea what I’m doing here on a Sunday. I never come to this store. I hate this store.”

And to top it off, they had no curtains for me. All I’m looking for are some 63″ panels. I found some at Target and I hate them, even though they’re temporary. I think it’s just going to be hard to please me given the fact that I’m totally pissed off that these windows might never get the trim put around them.

After I left IKEA, which was like being born again, I went to the world’s worst Wal*Mart – which is odd given that it is newly remodelled – hoping to find different curtain panels that I could hate, and pick up some Tide laundry detergent and Charmin toilet paper while I was there.

Did you know that the world’s worst Wal*Mart only offers 2 kinds of Tide laundry detergent and neither of them are the original scent, and one of them is for front-load washing machines?


Did you know that the world’s worst Wal*Mart has only 1 option of Charmin toilet paper and it’s those ridiculous Mega Rolls that don’t fit on my toilet paper holders?


This Wal*Mart is pretty  much a bloated convenience store.

From which I purchased another shitty set of curtain panels to  hate.

lap? Will you make me some curtain panels that I can love? What are you doing this weekend? Will you come with me and help me through this crisis?

Oh people. If curtain panels were my only crisis. If my cancer crap were my only crisis. But hey, if I focus on this curtain panel crisis all the other crisisees (tm: me) can be ignored and put off on Lalalalalalala Island (tm: me)

I think I’m going to drown my sorrows in Diet Coke.

Did I mention that I’m still eating healthy and, sugar? What are sugar?

8 Comments leave one →
  1. Gretchen permalink
    August 3, 2010 9:43 am

    How about twin sheets with clip-on curtain rings? Or is that what you’re already using and got tired of? About half the curtains in my house are made that way and I really wish I were lying about that.

  2. August 3, 2010 9:43 am

    That was me, last year.
    Too short or too long. (I have kitchen curtains hanging in my bathroom because nothing else fit.)

    You know things are bad when I am the one who is complaining about curtains.

  3. August 3, 2010 9:44 am

    I feel you on the window treatments. We installed all new blinds last weekend. Because a new baby obviously means you have to have all new window blinds. The problem I’m having is the one in our bathroom (which looks right into our neighbors kitchen)is about a foot too short. I didn’t even look at the length, only the width, and now I have a piece of plywood covering the lower half of our bathroom window. Totally awesome and probably not going to be remedied anytime soon. Our neighbor probably thinks we’re drug addicts with our plywood covered window. I suppose it’s better than the alternative, considering.

  4. Floweer permalink
    August 3, 2010 4:55 pm

    Hey there Kathy – I would help you with curtains from sheets or whatever. Great project for me. We could have a lot of fun!

  5. August 3, 2010 8:55 pm

    I never did do anything about the blinds in our front windows. We have about eight feet horizontally of windows in my living room, and when we moved in, they installed vertical blinds, the type you’d use for sliding patio doors. It’s not the most attractive solution, but I never did get around to buying anything to fix it. Gah.

    Our Walmart appeared on an episode of Intervention. Yep. There was a girl from my town who was addicted to compressed air (that stuff you use to clean your computer — gosh, what a hard addiction to break), and she went to the Walmart down my street to procure the goods. It was pretty surreal to see my Walmart on tv. And that was before they renovated it too.

  6. Jean permalink
    August 4, 2010 8:57 am

    Wal*Mart – the great satan of retail. Some bean counter in Arkansas obviously determined that a)no one who shops WallyWorld has enough $$ to have a front load machine and b)they crap in copious amounts, hence the need for commercial sized rolls of TP.

    And the pickles. Don’t even get me started. What average consumer needs a $4 – gallon jar of dill pickles? There’s a book out about how WallyMart screws companies by strong arming them into providing ridiculous products at a below-profit amount just to have on the shelf. I forget the name of the book, but it made me SO MAD. I avoid WM at all costs. GAH.

    And I hate curtains, too. Don’t know how many windows you have, but if you can stand the thought, check out thrift stores. If you only need a couple of windows, you can find something you can hate briefly then re-donate and feel marginally better.

  7. August 4, 2010 10:05 am

    Hey Kathy,
    Have you thought of some bamboo blinds and valances? It is an alternative to curtains. I hate curtains too. Just a thought. Hope all is good for you today.

    • August 4, 2010 10:06 am

      You can see through bamboo blinds – not what I want in my bathroom or bedroom! You little exposer, you!

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