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What Movie?

August 5, 2010

I wish I had a head of hair just like the seductive grocery store cashier. Damn. I am sick of this nary a hair. Sick of this Chernobyl look.

Enough about me. How are you?

Enough about you. You’re fine. You  have hair. Well, most of you.

Back to me.

I watched Sex & The City 2 the other day. Is it still in theatres? Only? Am I supposed to even have my hands on a copy of the movie? Does that explain the sometimes German subtitles and the sometimes French subtitles on my copy of the movie? If I’m not supposed to have this and one of you narcs on me, I’m going to tell the Movie Police that I was just kidding. “Officer! Nice shorts. Does your bike have a bell? I  haven’t even seen the movie! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” My mom uses that as a defense all the time. It’s what I know.

Anyway, when I was watching Sex & The City 2 in the {home} theatre (aka the living room) the other day it reminded me of how much I always thought that Carrie Bradshaw’s clothing looks ridiculous. It’s like the people who dress her put themselves in the place of a 4-year-old dressing up for a tea party. Carrie Bradshaw reminds me of the mouse in Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse. By Kevin Henkes (I put the author’s name in here for fear the Children’s Book Police would show up at my door, too!)

Oh, how I loved reading Chester’s Way to my children. Oh, how I wish they were children I could read to still. Because this phase of their lives is making me crazy! I’d trade permanent hairlessness if I could get, in return, motivated and happy children.

How in the hell did I get there? I did not mean to wander off the path of hairlessness and poor fashion and into the briar patch of my children.

Do you know who I think could have worn this dress, when she was still alive? Phyllis Diller. Oh wait, she’s still alive. Right? The death of Mitch Miller this week has just really thrown me off of my knowledge of dead celebrities. Was Phyllis Diller married to Fang? Or was that Joan Rivers? Could I just open up a tab and look these things up myself? Yes I could! I think this big flower would go great with a big personality. Or perhaps Sarah Jessica Parker’s big nose. Touche!  fashion people, from the Sex & The City movies and television show. I just figured it out. Ridiculous fashion draws our eyeballs away from the nose and the chin and the neigh.

Somebody's Been Playing in Grandma's Drawers

I know, I know…I live in Minnesota – Land of 10,000 appliqued sweatshirts, what do I know from fashion? I buy my clothing at Target and Old Navy.  But people, I have been to New York City many times. People in New York City don’t wear the crap that Carrie Bradshaw wears. Unless they are in a movie or on a runway or probably incredibly drunk, with way too  much money on their hands.

I was offended with the clothing I had to see while watching the movie! Offended, I tell you! Offended that the fashion industry thinks women ought to look UP to the clothing they showed us.

And what about that head of hair on Carrie Bradshaw ? Isn’t that the kind of hair that people are always trying to get rid of? It was like looking at hay! In the feed bag of a…

Oh. Huh.

Touche! fashion people. I see what you’re doing. You are mocking Ms Parker with the silly clothing and the feed bag hairdo.

Thank you.

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. August 5, 2010 4:54 pm

    You. Crack. Me. Up.

  2. poolagirl permalink
    August 5, 2010 7:37 pm

    When I was in New York a few years ago I was surprised at how drab everyone seemed. My sister and I were WILD with our sort-of bright winter jackets.

  3. Lynn permalink
    August 5, 2010 8:33 pm

    The hair dresser….I miss you more, than your hair!!

  4. August 6, 2010 12:01 am

    I am so with you about the clothing worn by Ms Bradshaw. Not only would I not be caught dead in most of it, but no one with her body should either. I also thought they put the beautiful Kim Cattrall in a few outfits that didn’t do her justice. Is it just a matter of taste? Perhaps.

    Not only did they make Ms Bradshaw look like a goof in the TV series, they made her act like a goof. If she looked shyly at a man, and then away, and then back, and then away, and bit her lip one more time, I swore I was going to throw up. No adult woman with half an ounce of sense behaves like that around a man, even a man she’s smitten by.

    I hope there weren’t many women who took her as a role model because that would be just plain embarrassing to any woman worth her salt.

    • August 6, 2010 7:39 am

      I didn’t even get started on the others’ clothing. Kaftans and harem pants! I get they were in the middle east but, really?

  5. August 6, 2010 1:25 am

    I saw one episode of sex & the city and gave my television away.

    • August 6, 2010 7:37 am

      Oh Linda! I loved that show! It’s so ridiculously redonkulous! Get your t.v. back so we can mock shows together!

  6. August 6, 2010 6:21 am

    Oh I am so glad I had finished drinking the coffee out of this cup before I started to read this entry.

  7. August 6, 2010 11:25 am

    Somebody’s been playing in grandma’s drawers………….pick me up off the floor….I can’t get up! I’m going to start a new blog with THAT title. You crack me up, but you already know that.

  8. August 7, 2010 8:46 am

    Thanks, Kathy! I needed that. After watching years of Sex in the City and both SITC movies, I ‘ve always thought I dressed too frumpily or I was just a peasant or a commoner or a serf or something like that. You have put everything into perspective for me – now if I could just stop poking myself in the eye with the picture of SJP’s chin, I could move foreward!

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