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We Britney Speared the Baby

August 30, 2010

I don’t rest well. Not anymore. I’ve used up all my rest. So yesterday, when I was totally wiped out,  I decided to drive up to my niece Tracy’s house and bring her something she’d forgotten at my house the day before. A little t.v. dinner. If she’d forgotten the baby here, I  might not have driven up to her house. That baby is for keeping.

Tracy lives about 40 minutes north of here, near an outlet mall. I thought it would be a great idea to hop in the car, drive up to Tracy’s,  squosh the baby, then run to the outlet mall. Because that’s how I rest.

Tracy’s sister, my niece – Lisa, lives about 4 houses from Tracy’s so we hopped back in the car and drove over to see her, even though she hadn’t answered her phone. Tracy was all “Let’s just walk!” And I was all, “It’s hot. My hand is huge. Let’s drive 4 houses over.” Which, really, is more than 4 houses because there are 2 streets inbetween. Instead of fussing with car seats, we Britney Speared the baby in the car (hid him low on Tracy’s lap while we used his soft spot as an ashtray ~Family Guy reference~) He was happy happy happy to ride free. Also? We “raced” the 2 older boys over, who were on their scooters. Barely missing them at each street intersection.

I kid, you know. I smoked those kids while I screamed the Highlander down the street. The baby was all over the car! It’s fun being Britney Spears circa the shaved head days, y’all.

Lisa wasn’t home. But her house was wide open so I got a tour from Tracy. Lisa caught us while we were going through the drawers in her bedroom. Okay, she didn’t. I’m just being funny. Aren’t I funny? No? Fine. Lisa was across the street, we know this because we saw her kids playing over there, so we sent the 2 scooter losers over to fetch them. I trump neighbors, any day. We visited for a bit – I don’t like to disrupt for long when I drop in to someone’s house, just mess up your day for a bit. Then we Britney Speared the baby back to his house and I headed out to the outlet mall.

Which was ridiculous. I forgot about it being back-to-school shopping season (Minneapolis started school today, most of the schools start after labor day) combined with it being 94 degrees, with a parking lot factor of Fahrenheit 451. But for some dumb reason I parked and went in to one store. I walked through the store and realized that the outlet mall on a crowded day was exactly not where I wanted to rest so I hopped back into the car and hit the highway. Where I joined in the bumper-to-bumper traffic of all the cabin owners returning to the city.

Instead of being a sheep, I got off the highway, took some back roads, and called my big sis-in-law to see if she wanted to go out for coffee. She did. Hallelujah.

And that, friends, is how I rested yesterday. I feel much better today and my hand is a bit less puffy than yesterday.


I can’t shake the Britney Spears. Anyone want me to drive their baby around today?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 30, 2010 10:10 am

    Obviously, what you needed was mental rest. I’m glad you got it.

    In the days before mandatory baby baskets (how ever did we all survive?) we’d put a couple of large pillows around the baby and use a seat belt. Not perfect, not even legal nowadays, but it worked then.

  2. August 30, 2010 12:39 pm

    I think we just got to fly around the 57 Chevy unimpeded! *LOL* There was once when my older brother accidentally opened the back door and fell out, thankfully it was at a stop sign!

    Do you know, I had just read your entry yesterday, and I decided to run out and get some coffee to see what I could manage to accomplish by myself and BAM! There were the answers to my prayers!

    Those mantras? they really work. So no need to be jealous, just play them if you aren’t up to chanting them yourself, and while listening, think of what you need, and ask the Universe for it! I do keep you in my heart while I chant the Green Tara mantra,(Healing) I think it’s so beautiful, I sing it multiple times during the day!

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