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No Truth to the Rumor

September 2, 2010

It was confirmed yesterday that there is no truth to the rumor that Floweer went into the bathroom with Josh Hartnett while he was attending a wedding in her yard, several years ago. There is truth, however, to the fact that Josh Hartnett threw up in Floweer’s bathroom due to the Banana Schnapps he’d overindulged in. Floweer was not only an eyewitness but she has the empty bottle sitting in front of her fireplace.

According to Floweer, “Josh vomited neatly and didn’t leave a mess.” Something like that.

It’s unclear as to how Floweer could see how neatly Josh Hartnett vomited as she swears she was not in the bathroom with him. I suppose she probably noticed after he left the room and she went into her own bathroom in search of Josh Hartnett goods. Totally different from Josh Hartnett’s goods or Josh Hartnett’s package.

Josh Hartnett, being from the area, is a good and neat boy. I say that like if you are from the Twin Cities metro area, you barf clean. When I can testify, after throwing up in my friend Barb Hardy’s car, this is not always the case. Sorry Barb! I was too young to be drinking! Why’d you take me to Uncle Sam’s (now First Avenue where my nephew, Doug, works – ask for him by name) I owe you dinner. Call me! (Deb – in case Barb doesn’t read this, tell her to call me, okay? Also, Deb? Call me so we can go out to lunch! If any of you know my friend Deb, make sure she reads this so she can call Barb – who I can take out to dinner and not barf in her car, and so Deb and I can go out to lunch, which has never  jump-started a car-barfing.)

This has been a test to see if some of my friends still read my blog.

I wonder if I type Josh Hartnett enough, he’ll read my blog and fondly remember the outdoor wedding where he drank too much banana schnapps and barfed in Floweer’s bathroom.

I want to vomit in Floweer’s bathroom so I can relive Josh’s special moment.

By the way, whatever happened to Josh Hartnett? I saw maybe two of his movies and then he kind of disappeared from my movie watching radar. I wonder if I’ve seen anything he’s made after barfing in Floweer’s bathroom. Maybe his career went down Floweer’s toilet.

God. I slay me.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. dakotagirl permalink
    September 2, 2010 11:26 am

    Are you on some kind of “special” medication today?

  2. September 2, 2010 11:33 am

    Very funny dakotagirl. Unfortunately, this is me naturally!

  3. poolagirl permalink
    September 2, 2010 2:48 pm

    I have the fear of vomiting, but I would still like to experience the Josh thing too. Can I fake vomit? Can I put some rubber vomit on the floor and pretend it’s mine? Help me out here!

  4. poolagirl permalink
    September 2, 2010 2:50 pm

    It’s called emetophobia. Fear of vomiting. Or perhaps the fear of Emmett Kelly, the clown. I had better consult Heinous.

  5. September 2, 2010 7:29 pm

    My husband drank too much at Mardi Gras one year, as you do — and this was years before I entered his life. On his way home, they were crossing a bridge and couldn’t pull over, and of course, that’s when he had to get sick. He noticed a champagne bottle on the floor of the car. Can you see where I’m going with this?! Needless to say, it didn’t work.

    I’m so glad that wasn’t *my* car.

  6. September 7, 2010 9:45 am

    I took a friend out for her 21st birthday (yes, a long time ago). All the way home in the car all I could do was scream at her “Puke in the bucket!!!!!”. It was my mom’s car, I couldn’t bring back a puked in car.

    That’s all she remembers from that night. It was her first time at Pat O’Briens. Probably her last. The Takee-Outee people didn’t appreciate her very much either.

    Youth.

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