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You’ll Always be Chuck to Me

September 25, 2010

In order to avoid a nervous breakdown, I broke down and found myself a licensed psychologist who will soon be getting the privilege of knowing all about me.

Isn’t he lucky?

I found him through my insurance provider’s website. I am going to break my insurance company with all of my medical, and now mental, visits. Between me and one of my children, our insurance company is going down.

And for that, I am not sorry. Unless it actually happens and I end up without insurance. Then I will be truly sorry.

I’d been seeking the fun time of a psychologist for a year or so (definitely less than a year), not too long ago. I probably didn’t tell you. Mostly because Lisa, the licensed psychologist with whom I was spending an hour with each week, was a pretty lousy psychologist. Which is pretty sad seeing as how she’d been in the business for “26 years”. “27 years” now. Maybe “28”.

She was like the Oprah of therapy. You know how Oprah has celebrities on, asks them questions, and then interrupts about two seconds into their answer? That was Lisa. She talked more than me. Which I didn’t think was possible.

I swear to you, each and every time I met with Lisa, she told me she’d been in the business for 26 years. I don’t know who she was trying to convince of her professional-ness, me or herself.  I told the Big Nugget about Lisa’s years in the business so when I made him go with me to a session, and she told him she’d been in the business for 26 years, I thought we were both going to lose it.

And Lisa, self-involved therapist that she was, was oblivious to our contained snickers.

So I decided that is was way past time for me to find myself on the couch of another licensed psychologist. I got a bunch of names and numbers to call but seemed to have trouble with the first three women so thought I’d give the first guy a call.

He answered the phone himself. God, I hate that. Hire me to answer your phones for you, okay?

Old story…I used to work for the owners of the IDS Center in downtown Minneapolis. One year I delivered cans of caramel corn/cheese corn/popcorn – in an IDS Center-decorated tin (fancy!) to each and every tenant in the IDS Center. 51 floors, people!

Imagine my surprise when I walked into an office door and discovered that I’d walked right into a therapy session. No reception area. God. I hate that.

“Merry Christmas!” I said and dropped off the ridiculous IDS Center-decorated tin filled with probably stale popcorns. That image of their surprised faces has never left me, some 25+ years later. Okay, I can’t remember their faces at all but I sure can remember how awful I felt about interrupting something like that.

Anyhow, now I’ve got me an appointment with a licensed psychologist in a couple of weeks. I got a good impression while I was talking with him. And he used the computer to send me forms to fill out. (I am impressed when someone in the mental health field knows how to use a computer. Could be the topic of a therapy session.) From the information about him, he has only been in the business for 11 years, not 26. What a relief.

Also? When I got his name and number, it said his name is “Charles”. But his e-mail came from “Chuck.” I hope he lets me call him Chuck because, really? Chuck is a great name for a therapist. And a dog. And my car. I think I should start calling my broken car “Chuck.” (Oh. Did I not tell you, blog readers, how I backed my car into a mulberry tree in my driveway? Huh. You should be a facebook friend of mine. They know almost everything about me. Except they didn’t know about Chuck. I’m breaking the news about Chuck right here, right now.)

I hope he lets me call him  Chuck. Because I’m going to call him Chuck anyway.

I’m going to keep this guy very busy, aren’t I.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. September 25, 2010 11:37 am

    I think it’s common for people in that field to have small offices and no help; they answer their own phones, schedule appointments, and do all the paperwork. Computer literacy seems to be really rare, though, so it looks like you have someone there who knows what century it is.

  2. September 25, 2010 12:53 pm

    I went to a counselor awhile ago, back when the kids were little and I was seriously losing my mind. She was bizarre, and not particularly helpful. Seemed to think I should just pull myself up by the bootstraps. Lady, if I could do that, do you think I’d be sitting here listening to you judge me?

    The final straw was the day I went in, in tears because things were so awful, told her what was wrong, and she didn’t even address the subject. Just told me she thought we were done, because it seemed like things were getting better for me.

    I hope you find that Chuck is the perfect person for you. Maybe if he is I should get myself on a plane and come talk to him too.

  3. September 26, 2010 12:46 am

    Good for you. I applaud you for taking such good care of your sanity.

  4. h2ophobic permalink
    September 26, 2010 8:34 am

    I fought tooth and nail before going into therapy after we lost Jeff. I’d been raised in a “don’t air your dirty laundry in public” home. I couldn’t imagine how talking could help me. But…it did. It didn’t change the facts of my life. It just gave me “tools” to use when those facts overwhelm me. Good luck my friend!

  5. poolagirl permalink
    September 26, 2010 7:37 pm

    Excellent choice! I support this is any way I can!

  6. September 26, 2010 8:18 pm

    Good choice. I support your decision both to end your relationship with your first therapist and to have the courage to try again with somone new.

  7. September 26, 2010 9:08 pm

    I am hoping that he is a “Charles”, because really…..having had a “Chuck” for about 42 years, it is my experience that “Chuck” = Lisa. But then again, he assures me that he is one of a kind so mayhaps you’ll be safe. Personally, I think you probably need a Bob Newhart. But seriously, good luck Sweetie. Hope it works out for you. XXXX

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