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Fool in the Kitchen

November 27, 2010

You guys! I found a sweater for Stella Mirra, Retrieved Golden:

Do you think I should buy it for her for Christmas? It’s only $148 at Anthropologie.

I have to tell you, I am very full. Cindy and I went shopping today (I shopped, she watched me shop) and then we went to Burger Jones because I can not stop going to Burger Jones for their BJ Nooner with the Government Cheese, and Maple Bacon Sweet Potato Fries. I know, right?!

You want to figure out a way to get me to go out to eat with you? Call me and say, “Let’s go to Burger Jones!” I can’t say no to that.

Also, our waitress offered us this great deal on Bloody Marys and we took her up on it. Had we known they came with a meal on a toothpick: olive, pickle, mozzarella and beef stick, we would have passed on the burger and fries.

Oh hell, that was an outright lie. Those burgers and those maple bacon sweet potato fries are to die for. If someone said to me, “Kathy, if you never eat another Burger Jones burger with a side of maple bacon sweet potato fries, I can guarantee you that you’d never get cancer again!” I’d say, “Give me my burger, bitch. I’ve got a great oncologist!”

Again, another lie. But I know it wasn’t Burger Jones that gave me the cancer because I’d never had Burger Jones until after I had the cancer. So, hah!

Jesus, I’ve got an eyelash in my eye. That wasn’t me praying. It’s bugging the crap out of me and has been for hours. If someone were to say to me, “Kathy, if I guarantee that you’ll never get another eyelash in your eyeball but your chance of cancer recurrence will be upped by 25%!” I’d say, “Get this fucker out of my eye, bitch! I’ve got a great oncologist!”

Or not.

Probably not.

Maybe I should get my fat ass off of this chair and go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and find the damned eyelash.

So you know how yesterday I spent a good 10 hours or more working on those stupid Red Velvet Whoopie Pies with Peppermint Filling and then I said I wouldn’t be baking today?

I baked a pan of Mixed Nut bars. But here’s the thing. They take no time to bake and are pretty much foolproof. Hell, they’re 100% foolproof because I didn’t have one issue with them and if there’s a fool to proof baking mistakes, that fool would be me.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. November 27, 2010 8:55 pm

    You should at least give Stella a picture of the sweater! LOL!

  2. November 28, 2010 9:11 am

    Care to share the recipe for the mixed nut bars?

  3. November 28, 2010 7:22 pm

    If someone said, Kathy, I can guarantee you that you make me laugh out loud very often, would you believe me?

    Well, you do! 🙂

  4. Diane B permalink
    November 29, 2010 3:30 am

    Damnit! I used to have a password, but I lost it. Can I get it again, please?

  5. Diane B permalink
    November 29, 2010 3:32 am

    Nevermind, I found it!

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