Coupons and Nighttime Baking

I can’t get that new TLC show about people who obsessively use coupons out of my head. My God! One guy paid around $75 for over $1,000 of groceries. Maybe more.

One woman got her grocery bill dropped from over $800 down to $6.93. And it was that much because she bought a chicken, which didn’t have a coupon. By the way, that chicken was the only thing in all of her carts that was not a prepackaged food item full on chemicals. Oh wait, I don’t believe it was an organic chicken. Never mind.

The savings are crazy. What’s even crazier is the crap they fill their garages with. Shelves and shelves full of Gatorade. Mounds of fruit snacks. Cartons of candy bars. Who needs that much high fructose corn syrup? Boxes and boxes filled with antiperspirant. Who needs to put that much aluminum in their body (says the breast cancer survivor who now only uses aluminum-free Tom’s of Maine deodorant.)

It seems to gluttonous to me.

And I’m jealous.

Jealous of gluttony.

So I went to the prosthetics supplier yesterday. God, never thought I’d be doing anything like that in my lifetime. But that’s where the lymphedema supplies are. I got fitted for a nighttime glove. It looks like an oven mitt and goes from my fingers, on up to my shoulder. And the goal is to compress my arm and hand at night so that the lymphatic fluid won’t be allowed to build up overnight. (Right, Cathe?)

It’s very sexy, no?

And then I might actually wear my compression glove and sleeve during the day. I cannot tell you how much getting lymphedema just pisses me off. Especially when I’d never heard of the damn thing less than a year ago. That’s one hell of a chronic surprise, let me tell you. I’m thankful that mine is relatively mild. Right now. Shit. Probably just jinxed myself and will now puff up like a puffer fish.

I might just use that nighttime compression glove for what it looks like I should use it for – an oven mitt. For those midnight pie bakes.

I just found an article that sums up lymphedema. In case you’re interested.

I hadn’t planned on making any new year’s resolutions but because of my lack of taking care of my health, I think I must.

So here they are:

1. Do my light massage to help the lymphatic fluids drain.

2. Do the exercises my physical therapist suggested I do.

3. Lose weight, which will hopefully reduce the swelling.

4. Make creme brulee, which I didn’t get around to making in 2010. I know. It won’t help #3 above. Man, you’re a tough audience. Lighten up! I’ts not going to kill me to have one serving of creme brulee!